Monday, January 22, 2007

  1. Achievement - You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
  2. Adversity - That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
  3. Agony - Not all pain is gain.
  4. Ambition - The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.
  5. Apathy - If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.
  6. Arrogance - The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
  7. Beauty - If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
  8. Bitterness - Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
  9. Blame - The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
  10. Burnout - Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
  11. Change - It's a short trip from riding the waves of change to being torn apart by the jaws of defeat.
  12. Change (winds) - When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.
  13. Cluelessness - There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
  14. Compromise - Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be
  15. Conformity - When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
  16. Consulting - If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
  17. Dare to Slack - When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
  18. Defeat - For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
  19. Delusions - There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
  20. Demotivation - Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
  21. Despair - It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
  22. Destiny - You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
  23. Discovery - A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
  24. Disloyalty - There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.
  25. Disservice - It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
  26. Do it Later - The early worm is for the birds.
  27. Doubt - In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.
  28. Dreams - Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
  29. Dysfunction - The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
  30. Effort - Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.
  31. Elitism - It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
  32. Failure - When your best just isn't good enough.
  33. Fear - Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
  34. Flattery - If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
  35. Futility - You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
  36. Get To Work - You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
  37. Goals - It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.
  38. Hazards - There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
  39. Humiliation - The harder you try, the dumber you look.
  40. Idiocy - Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  41. Ignorance - It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
  42. Incompetence - When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
  43. Indifference - It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
  44. Individuality - Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
  45. Ineptitude - If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
  46. Insanity - It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
  47. Inspiration - Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
  48. Intimidation - No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
  49. Irresponsibility - No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
  50. Laziness - Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.
  51. Leaders - Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.
  52. Limitations - Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
  53. Loneliness - If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
  54. Losing - If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
  55. Madness - Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
  56. Mediocrity - It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
  57. Meetings - None of us is as dumb as all of us.
  58. Misfortune - While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.
  59. Mistakes - It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
  60. Motivation - If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
  61. Nepotism - We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.
  62. Overconfidence - Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
  63. Pessimism - Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
  64. Persistence - It's over, man. Let her go.
  65. Planning - Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
  66. Potential - Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
  67. Power - Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
  68. Pressure - It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
  69. Pretension - The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
  70. Problems - No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them
  71. Procrastination - Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
  72. Quality - The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.
  73. Regret - It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.
  74. Retirement - Because you've given so much of yourself to the Company that you don't have anything left we can use.
  75. Risks - If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
  76. Sacrifice - Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
  77. Sacrifice (Temple) - All we ask here is that you give us your heart.
  78. Strife - As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.
  79. Stupidity - Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
  80. Success - Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.
  81. Teamwork - A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
  82. Trouble - Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
  83. Underachievement - The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.
  84. Wishes - When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
  85. Worth - Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important
    - Demotivators by despair.com

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