Genius Folks

You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said... "where???"

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific".

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but, "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...

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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... (maybe I should have bought 10 cases)

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...

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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

HAPPY SINGLES AWARENESS DAY

also known as Valentines Day.

DARTH BLUEJAY

It was a nightmare getting here... I am soooo happy that I'm back but I am a little dissapointed because its soo COLD!!!! Anyway let me tell you what I had to go through to get to this state. We were suppost to stay in IL for 2 weeks, We were their for 3 weeks......
The first time we tryed to leave, it snowed 4 in.... All flights from Peoria to Chicago were not looking good for people on the stand by list, So we stayed another week.....
The second time we were going to leave, the day we set out to drive to the air port and fly away, it snowed 3 in... It was a diffrent kind of snow though, it was big and feathery and you couldn't see 1 foot in front of you. So we tryed for the next day. Yeah, we got to the airport, first step down!!! (clap clap clap)
Anyway we get past check out and onto the metal detectors.... For some reason this time they desided that our group that was flying(me, my mom, my sister, her 2 one year old kids) was special. So they went through ALL OF YOUR BAGS and the frisked us all down.... By this time, I wanted to go back to bed, I didn't want to deal with the airport.
So after we got all that done and we get to the gate, they tell us we only have room for 2 people that are on the stand by list. So my mom comes up with the great idea that me and bonny (found sister) would fly to Chicago with BOTH of the babies..... (Not a good Idea mom)
Anyway when the plane went up, jason fell asleep. I was kindof worried that he past out because he has a bad heart. But he woke up when we landed, Zoë was with Bonny in another seat in another row somewhere at the end of the plane.

(I know your thinking, when is this gonna end, we this is 2 days worth of bad traveling so I'm not done yet.)

Its a short flight from the Peoria to Chicago, like 25 minutes. So we get there and go to the gate to get to DFW. We get there in like 1 1/2 hours before we could check in so we got some food and something to give the babies and we sign in after waiting for an hour. We are 3rd to have signed in and we are 28 and 36 on the stand by list.... Apparently some chicago to dallas flights had been canceled earlier that day and the people that should have been on the other flights where on this one now..... Grrr Arrrgggg.........
So by this time my mom and my sister had just gotten here from peoria. I was looking like we wouldn't be able to get out of Chicago for days if we wanted to get to DFW. So we went to Albuquerque New Mexico. It was like 7 pm at this point so we stayed at the best best western in the world, woke up, went to old town, went shopping, ate, (did I mention it was like in the 70s there), got back to the best western, got our stuff, went to the air port, and GOT ON THE PLANE!!!!!! It was about time we got back. So we were back in Texas and the first thing I say when I get outside in that Texas air is, I want to go back to Albuquerque.....

THE END

DARTH BLUEJAY